Week of 11/1/2015 Running Update

Warning: this post is all about running.  If you don't care about my running, you may want to skip this one and wait for the one with my recent pics.  Coming soon.

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Let me start this out by saying that since re-starting my blog and writing about my running (among other things), I've debated with myself about whether I should put my running statistics out here on the internets verses just talking in generalities. See, if the actual stats are out here, God and everyone who stumbles on this blog will bear witness my plodding paces. It’s especially embarrassing because I know some of my good college friends and even cool bloggers I follow are out running 10 and 20 milers and doing marathons all over the place. And not just marathons!  One of my favorite bloggers completed a 100-mile race just a few months ago. Not that they’re likely to read this blog, but still, those athletes make me feel like a poser, and really………….really………….out of shape, and really.............really.............slow.

Me running verses EVERY OTHER RUNNER running.

But then I told myself, “Relax, take a deep breath. It’ll be OK”. After all, I’m not putting myself out here as some running guru.  I’m not pretending to be Ms. Uber-Fitness Florida and offering coaching tips.  This little bloggie corner of the internet is mainly to give me an outlet to spew about my running, maybe my efforts at healthy living (which have their ups and downs) and to provide me with some accountability. And I figure my parents and other family members will read it for the kid-content, if nothing else :-).

If I want to document my growth as a runner and athlete, and maybe even provide companionship for anyone else who decides to get back in shape or start running, then I need to not be a chickenshit, man-up and just put the stats out there.

My mantra.

So, that said, here’s what happened on my runs this week:

Sunday, November 1, 2015. 

I briefly touched on this one in my post from 11/2/2015, but I figured I’d recap here, for consistency.  I’m going to try to do these updates on a weekly basis.  Unless I change my mind and go back to writing them out on a case-by-case basis.  This blog is a work-in-progress.

The time change (reversal of daylight savings time, which happened Sunday morning) was good to me.  Sort of.  I woke up stupid-early (like 3:30 am, maybe?) due to a bad dream and the time change messing with my brain, and when it was clear I wasn’t going to be falling back to sleep, I made some coffee and started my day.  So by the time daylight arrived, I was fairly awake.  And it was still quite cool outside, which is hit or miss here in Florida in the fall.  

Total Distance:  4.06 mi

Total Time: 58:40 min

Avg Pace:   14.27 min/mile

Sunday was really a lovely run.  It was pretty, it was cool(ish), I felt good, I was caffeinated.  All the elements came together and gave me a sweet little run.  Other than my annoying right foot pain, I have no complaints!

Oh, and one other thing that cracks me up: when I look at my splits, I can clearly see that I go from very few walk breaks in the early miles to more and more walking - my pace is slower every mile - no negative splits here! But still OK. And I should add that my walking is really slow unless I consciously think to myself, "Move your ass, Girl!" So when I walk, the pace drops a LOT, even if there is some running going on during that split. Clearly, the goal is to get to 0 walk breaks!  Hopefully will be soon.

Tuesday, November 3, 2015.
Got up butt early and was out the door by 4:45 am.  Yes, you read me right.  The other day I called my workouts “intervals”, but in reality they’re actually fartleks.  Yes, that’s a word, and it isn’t a bodily function. Farklek training involves “periods of fast running intermixed with periods of slower running," but not at regular intervals. My method of fartlek training is essentially running until I feel like I’m going to die, then taking a brief walk break until my heart rate drops and running again feels like a viable life option. Lather, rinse, repeat.  What can I say? I’m just happy my breaks have become much fewer and shorter in duration compared to, say, back in July.

Total Distance:  3.78 miles

Total Time:  52:19 min

Avg Pace:  13:49 min/mi

Critter Count:  8 (yes, 8!!!) live toads

           2 squished toads (I think – I didn’t really want to look too close)

Kids, just say "No" to Pop Tarts.

           0 slugs (must be out of season!)

And for the jerk who left your dog’s crap in the middle of the sidewalk?  I hope karma bites you on the ass when you’re least expecting it.  Happily, I didn’t step in said crap, or I’d be feeling WAY less charitable. 

Another happy run.  My right foot still bothered me, but it wasn’t debilitating. I wasn't too freaked out about it still being so dark. And I felt good. Even though it was early and I’d had a couple of glasses of wine the night before. And some cheese and salami.  And two pop tarts.   At least this effort should have burned off the pop tarts – so I’m calling it a successful run.

Wednesday, November 4, 2015.
Quick and easy 1-miler after work with my oldest.  He's training for a one-mile fun run at school the week of Thanksgiving and he's doing great. We went 1/2 mile, then walked for a bit (maybe a little over a minute?) then ran the rest of the way back.

Total Distance:  1.02 miles

Total Time:  13:13 min

Avg Pace:  13:00 min/mi

I thought this was excellent, given that we walked a bit.  Map my run says our actual running pace was about 12:00 min/mile, so not too shabby!

Weekend?
I'd love to regale you with the running adventures that I had this weekend, but the truth is, I didn't run at all. IDK what the deal was, but I just didn't feel like running. What can I say? Some days it happens! So I had a nice relaxing weekend off.  Did some (a LOT of) reading, watched some TV. Took the kids to another friend birthday party (this time at Rebounderz, the trampoline place). Saw an old work friend at Rebounderz, which was nice. And last night was Walking Dead / Talking Dead night. Awesome! So no running, but a nice weekend nonetheless.

Mission: Trail Running

My posse, Kanapaha Park, Gainesville, FL. September 2012.

At the suggestion of my outdoorsy brother, Allen, I’m going to try some trail running to see if it helps my annoying foot pain.  (And FYI for those not in the know, I have 3 brothers, all younger than me). 

Allen says he switched to off-road soft-surface type running several years ago since its easier on the joints.  Makes sense. Sign me up!

Frankly, it’s kind of silly that I haven’t tried trail running before now, because I LOVE to be outdoors.  I LOVE to hike. Once upon a time, the kids and I would go hiking almost every weekend – or at least once a month. That was actually a goal of mine a few years ago: for our little family to have at least one adventure per month; something outside the usual routine.  Clearly, I need to revive this practice.

I have to admit, even when we were doing all that hiking, I don't think I ever broke into a trot. Looking back, its a shame. There were plenty of lovely places I could have run in the woods. Probably would have been way cooler than running on the roads, too!

The hiking we did as a family was primarily in city-type nature parks, but it was still hiking. And we all loved it! But then we moved from land-of-nature-parks Gainesville, Florida to suburban St. Johns County, Florida, where decent parks are few and far between. And life happens, and I got into a routine doing the usual weekend stuff:  running in the neighborhood, hitting the pool or the beach, chores, laundry, life.

Just a portion of the trail brochures
about 15 feet from my office.  

So do you want to know the ironic thing?  I work at the St. Johns River Water Management District.  We are an agency of the State of Florida, and among our primary missions is LAND MANAGEMENT.  Meaning conservation areas.  Natural areas.  All of which provide public access (since the lands we own are “public lands”).  So I’m kind of embarrassed that I haven’t taken my posse to any of the local conservation areas to hike. Not only that, but my office is on the floor with the Land Management Group. They’re basically my work neighbors. I walk past the trail brochures every day on my way to the kitchenette.

And just to plug the recreational opportunities for anyone who lives or visits my neck-of-the-woods:

http://www.floridaswater.com/recreation/

So, back to me.  That’s what this blog is about, after all, ME, ME, ME!  (Um, just in case it wasn't clear, I'm joking.  It's a joke.  Even I'm not that self-centered. I think.)

In the interest of figuring out where to go / what to do, I strolled down the hall to talk to one of my Land Management besties.  Karen knows where I live and suggested some possibilities close to home.  So (drum roll) here they are – my preliminary list of places I want to either (a) take the kids hiking or (b) consider for trail running. Note: I’m going to briefly list and describe these here, and then assuming I visit them, I’ll do a more in-depth description (with photos!).  I'll also note that our properties aren't set up primarily for recreation or scenery - it's conservation of our State's water resources.  So that said, I'm not sure how scenic any of these are.  My bro now lives in Flagstaff, Arizona, it's wicked pretty out there.  We don't have that here.  That said, these are the sites I plan to explore in the very near future, either running or hiking . . .

Bayard Conservation Area – probably the closest to my house, this one is only about 10 minutes away and I drive past it every day on my commute.  It’s in Green Cove Springs, the town right on the other side of the St. Johns River from where I live.  Depending on the loops you take, you can hike over 10 miles in this bad-boy, and it appears that there’s at least one “landing” area on the St. Johns, which sounds pretty.  Hunting is allowed in here, though, so I’ll need to time visits here to avoid getting shot, which would be a real bummer.

Gourd Island Conservation Area – This one is about 20 minutes away from my house, and I’m not sure why it’s named Gourd Island because it isn’t an island.  Looks like easy access from the Interstate (I-95) and has 4.1 miles of trail, total.  Downside?  It’s one big loop, so if you go in and decide to bail or the weather turns on you? You’re screwed and will need to complete the loop to get back to your car.  Might be a good trail run option, though.  Seems like it would be hard to get lost on. 

Aside: Since I’m a trail running newbie, I’m not sure if I’m likely to get lost or not.  I think I have a good sense of direction, and none of these areas I’m looking at are in the middle of nowhere, so I’m thinking I should have adequate GPS coverage.  This isn’t backcountry hiking, after all.

Julington-Durbin Preserve – This preserve really threw me for a loop because I had no idea it was there.  I know this area (about 25 minutes from my house, easy access from I-95) and just didn’t know it was up there.  Doesn’t seem like it would be very scenic (other than trees), but it does provide over 6 miles of trail.  Definite running possibility.

Stokes Landing Conservation Area – This one was highly recommended by Karen.  She’s been there and says there’s a picnic area and observation tower overlooking the Intracoastal Waterway (this is the waterway that separates the mainland from the barrier islands – and it’s always pretty).

Twelve-Mile Swamp Conservation Area – Seems like a swamp. I’ll give it a “possible” rating, but doesn’t seem like it’d be scenic and only has 2.8 miles of trail.  Might be good for the kids, though, since it isn’t too long.  And it is really close to my house – maybe 15 minutes?

Moses Creek Conservation Area – Has over 5 miles of trail, but this is another “swamp” type area.  There is a supposed “observation point”, but I can’t tell if its anything cool.  Think this would be one for me to try on my own before bringing the posse with.

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So.  Goal for this weekend?  Depending on my motivation level on Saturday morning, I think I’m going to give Gourd Island a shot. And, weather permitting, take the kids to Stokes Landing for some recreational hiking. 

With that, I'll leave you with photos of some of our hiking, back in the day . . .

John Mahon Nature Park, Gainesville, FL. November 2013.

Cofrin Nature Park, November 2012.

Hiking with Grandpa Pogue, Loblolly Woods Nature Park, Gainesville, FL.May 2013.

Horsing around, Loblolly Woods Nature Park, May 2013.

Kids with their dad, Cofrin Nature Park, Gainesville, FL, February 2013.

Kanapaha Park, Gainesville, FL. April 2013.

Monday Update - 11/2/2015

I’ve been sick.  Not deathly ill.  Just a cold.  But still annoying.  And I feel cause & effect at work here.  For the past three weeks-ish, I’ve been in a negative spiral. 

Me, last week (recovering from the Great Birthday Party Camp-Out Extravaganza)

I should have seen the cold coming from a mile away. 

It’s synergistic.  if you’re making bad choices, it leads to more bad choices, and when you’re making good choices, its easier to keep making good ones. In other words, once I’m on a roll, I tend to stay on a roll. Or an object in motion tends to remain in motion. The important thing is getting back on the horse. (Trying to see if I can use the MOST clichés in one paragraph!)

So that’s what I did this weekend. Got back on the horse.  I’m finished with birthday parties and Halloween and work deadlines for a while, so it was the perfect time to reset and save myself from going down the dark path to Mordor. Or a fat(er) ass. It's a metphor.

Funny GIF, but am I the only one who's extremely
bothered by the terrible grammar? And lack of
capitalization! Who's with me???

Friday I was still feeling fairly crappy.  Sore throat.  Tired.  Headache. But I picked up some Emergen-C,  stocked up on cough drops, and drank all the water. 

I was feeling better by Saturday morning, so I did 6-miles, interval-style.  It was awesome.  Really, one of the better runs I’ve done in a while.  My average pace was 15:29, which would suck if I ran the whole time, but that included plenty of walk breaks, so I was totally pleased with it. I was very happy to get the distance in, but I have to admit that my right foot is really bugging me.  I think my new shoes are too big or something. The joints on all my toes hurt like the devil after I’ve gone about 1.5 miles. And the arch even hurts a bit off and on.  I might get an insole, but I really think what I’m going to do is go to First Place Sports, the “real” running store here in NE Florida, and have them size me. It’s been forever since I’ve been sized by the experts, and I’ve gained weight and a bunch of years since then, so I’m probably overdue.  Hopefully that will help.  It does annoy me that my new-ish shoes aren’t working out for me, though.  And I will say, this doesn’t feel like an injury – really it feels more arthritis-type achy.  I’m hoping a good fit will help me out.  That won’t happen for a couple of weeks, but I’m already looking forward to it.

Things you see when running in Florida.
No, we have no gators in the pond.  I think the sign is just to scare people.

So, regardless of the foot owwies, I didn’t want to squander my valuable weekend time, so I went for another run on Sunday morning.  And you know what?  Running is weird.  The foot still bothered me, but I had a totally awesome 4-miler (again, interval-style – I’m still trying to build my endurance, especially since I was a slacker for the past few weeks).  Average pace? 14:27 min/mile.  Again, I’m stoked.  My actual running pace is around 11 min/mile, which I’m totally fine with at this point.  YAY.  Though I do hope this is the last post in which I'll admit to being "stoked" over a 14:27 min/mile average pace. I want to look like a runner, not a trotter. Wait, that didn't sound right at all.  But you know what I mean.  Onward and upward!

Ridiculously pretty Sunday morning run.
Before it turned into Florida and got ridiculously hot as well as ridiculously pretty.

Other stuff that happened this weekend?  Oh, yeah, Halloween!

My posse.  Of course, because "Florida" and it was ridiculously hot, my youngest ended up bailing on the awesome all-black "party" suit and changing into an old pirate costume.  I'm all for my kids actually breathing while scoring loads of candy.

Halloween overachievers 1.

Halloween overachievers 2.

Other than all that fun stuff, the weekend was fairly relaxing.  Hanging out in the back yard.   Trip to the pool. And a long, lovely nap on Sunday. I needed it.

Me and the dog.  Yes, I'm wearing my son's flip flops.  Mine broke.  Note to self:  Buy yourself some new sandals!!

Oh, and since there's probably no chance of me ever becoming a "foodie" blogger (because I suck at cooking and really don't enjoy it all that much), you won't see 3,000 food pics from me.  BUT, I was rather proud of my taco salad yesterday:

Isn't it pretty? Ground turkey, avocado, cannelini & kidney beans,
cucumbers, salsa, jalapenos, cheese. I may not be a super-duper cook,
but I can make a salad to rock your world.  Well, as much as a salad can
rock one's world.  

Ok.  Guess that's all for today. The plan for the week?  Runs on Tuesday & Thursday.  Will keep you posted. . .

The Great Birthday Party Camp-Out Extravaganza

Yesterday (October 27^th), was my daughter Cailyn’s 10^th Birthday.   I generally try to throw some sort of shindig for my kids on their birthdays, with mixed success over the years.  Generally, my basic theme is “Fun but Cheap!”  Yes, I’m classy that way.  

Last year Cailyn had a really successful Harry Potter themed birthday party.  It was tons of fun, but ended up costing WAY more $$ than I had originally intended.  I blame the Quidditch pitch.  Some photos from last year:

Yes, this Quidditch pitch doesn't look like it should cost much,
but I had to buy enough plywood, and PVC pipe,
and fittings and hula hoops for six hoops.  It added up!

Potions!  Kids LOVED this one.
And check out Hermione!

So this year, still shooting for the “Fun but Cheap” theme, we decided to do a backyard camp-out.   Being the tomboy that she is, Cailyn has as many, if not more, guy friends as she does girls, and wanted to invite all her friends.  I figured since they’re only 9 and 10, we should still be relatively safe from boy/girl type naughtiness, but just to be safe, we’d have a boy tent and a girl tent.  

I’m still a little vague about how the numbers shook out, but we ultimately ended up with 17 freaking kids at this party!  17!  Happily, only 13 stayed the night.  (Only 13!)  Of course, those included my 3 and the 3 grandkids, so it really wasn’t too out of control, right???  Yeah. 

Our little home away from home. 

Anyway, back to party prep!  We own an 8-man tent approximately the size of a NYC studio apartment, but without a kitchenette or loo taking up valuable real estate inside.  Another friend was kind enough to let us borrow their 10-man tent for the party.  Their tent was awesome!  I question its’ classification as a 10-man tent, as I think it was smaller than ours, but it was plenty big enough for all us girls, and the best part??  It was a pop-tent, which set up like magic in less than 5 minutes.  For realz.  Our tent is not quite so user friendly, but I’ve set the sucker up enough times that I know what I’m doing and even it doesn’t take too long, provided you have a second set of hands to help out.  Plus, my oldest son has his own 3-man tent (seen in a previous post, set up in my dining room), which he intended to use for the evening with his “nephew” and buddy, Caleb. So, tents? Check!

Going along with the “Cheap” portion of our theme, I had planned to bake the cupcakes myself, with a little help from Duncan Hines, as I don’t pretend to be much of a baker. But when Saturday rolled around, and I had already set up three tents, and was still in the process of cleaning the house, folding laundry, and washing bedding, my enthusiasm for saving a few bucks by baking the party cupcakes myself flew out the door.  Happily, my kids are awesomely (is that a word?) laid back, and Cailyn was completely fine with me bailing on her and buying some Publix cupcakes.  Only problem was we were too late to special order anything, so we ended up with Halloween Cupcakes, for the win!  So happy my daughter is completely cool and wasn’t bummed to not have a “theme” cake or something.  So, cake? Check!

When my daughter begged me to take them to Phantom Fireworks to pick up some smoke bombs, I thought, why not?  I figured it’d give the little hoodlums something to do until the sun went down and we could get the campfire going.  Maybe not one of my wiser decisions, in retrospect.  Because we didn’t just get smoke bombs. We also got firecrackers, bottle rockets and sparklers.  Yes, the foreshadowing is strong here.  Do you get a feeling of doom?  Do you get the even stronger feeling that I’m completely insane???

 

When a bunch of the kids had arrived, we hustled them outside to preserve the sanity and noise levels in our house, and they began doing the fireworks. Even though I was out there supervising, it got nuts! Too many kids.  Too many fireworks.  It was a crazy 15 minutes or so and I spent the time trying to control the chaos and limit the number of rockets going off at once and generally making sure the neighborhood didn’t go up in smoke.  There were some close calls.  And (I have to admit this is funny in retrospect), one mom showed up to drop off her son right in the midst of the worst of the chaos, and she had 3 smaller kids, who were all a little wild-eyed at the noise, and the poor mom seemed to be questioning her judgment in letting her kid stay the night.  I tried to be all mature and reassuring, but was also trying to supervise the craziness.  As I alluded to above, in retrospect, 10-year olds and fireworks at a party?  Not a good idea.  But we all survived and so did the neighborhood.  Yay!

By then, I calculated that everyone had arrived that was coming, so we hustled everyone back inside for the cake, ice cream and presents.  Nothing like sugaring up the lot to get ready to party!  And, I should say that Cailyn was LOVING being the center of attention.  She was lapping it up.  I was happy about that, though I calculated I’d only narrowly escaped a nervous breakdown during the firework portion of the proceedings.

My daughter with her badass tatoo sleeves.  She's unconventional!

Onward to the campfire! Smores! Our telescope! Unfortunately, we couldn’t get the darned thing to focus on the moon.  It’s a relatively cheap telescope and wobbles a lot.  Plus, there just wasn’t enough peace and quiet to try and set it up properly. There were kids all crowded around, trying to see through. I was bummed, though; it would have made a good teaching moment!

Campfire! 

Telescope!

Ultimately, we tried to get everyone to start settling down, with limited success. It was funny, throughout the early portions of the night, the boys kept trickling inside for one reason or another. Finally, all the boys were inside, and all the girls were in the "girl" tent.  Except Cailyn, who ended up sleeping in her bed - what can I say, she's an early-to-bed-early-to-rise type and was tired! I was outside with the rest of the girls, and though we all stayed up WAY TOO LATE. It was fun.

I was actually up until about 2:45 am, and God’s honest truth?  I think that’s the latest I’ve stayed up since my singleton party days.  And back then there was usually large quantities of alcohol and dancing involved.  Ah, the good old days!  This time I was trying to prop up in the tent, reading on my tablet (you didn’t think I was without my technology, did you?) and doing my best to convince six 9-12 year-old girls to stop chatting and go to sleep already!

But though I didn’t get enough sleep, it was a good party.  I think everyone had a good time.  Maybe even me.  We’ll see if I have selective amnesia the next time I propose another one like this!

Tree Hugger Tip of the Day

Ah, water.  How do I love thee?

See this awesome glass bottle?

I use these glass bottles instead of plastic water bottles. It's my little contribution to reduce-reuse-recycle.  These were once tea bottles (think Honest Tea, Snapple, etc.).

I drink a TON of water every day.  Well, not a ton - that's a unit of weight, not volume (nerd gene kicking in).  But honestly, I drink between 80 and 100 ounces (that's between 2 and 3 liters for those of you cool kids who live where the metric system still rules). Anyway, I was feeling seriously guilty about the number of water bottles I was going through on a weekly basis, so I started using these glass ones, which are awesome because you can just wash them in the dishwasher and refill from the fridge water filter. Easy, cheap and good for the environment.

I know what you're thinking.
But, this is green tea.  Not pee.

I also brew my own green tea and fill them up in these babies.

I cannot tell a lie; I still buy the plastic bottles for the kids. Connor doesn't like the taste of the fridge water (I know, it's ridiculous). And they can't take glass bottles to school. But plastic is religiously recycled in our house. Woe to the resident who throws recyclables into the trash can; the Wrath of Amy will fall on their heads. Yes, I know if I were a bit more militant about the environment thing, I'd stop buying the plastic bottles entirely, but at this point, I'm more concerned with just getting my kids to drink more water.  You've got to pick your battles, you know?

Also, in what is almost certainly not the healthiest choice, these Jolly Rancher drink packets are insanely yummy. I couldn't believe it myself, but they really do taste like Green Apple Jolly Rancher candies (my personal favorite flavor). Yes, they have Aspartame and artificial coloring.  But I'm thinking as long as I don't drink like 3 per day, they shouldn't kill me, right?  Oh and I should add: if you try these, you probably want to only use about half a packet in each bottle of water - they're just too sweet, otherwise.

This is yummy.
Yes, it's fluorescent green and looks like it comes from Chernobyl.
But it's really yummy.

Tuesday Stuff

S’up?  It’s been a week of busy family stuff for me, and not enough feet on the running trail!  Planning to hit the road tonight for the first time in about a week.  Yes, I know – way too long between runs.  And running really does help the mental sanity thing.

So what have we been up to?  Here’s a few shots of life this past week.

Blue Heron on retention basin outlet structure at work this morning.

Yellow Flowers on my walk at work this morning.

Adventure Landing Arcade.  Kids had a friend party on Saturday.

Cailyn at Adventure Landing Arcade.

Our Front Door, Halloween Style!

Connor's Global Warming Experiment - demonstrating how ice from glaciers and ice sheets (think Antarctica) would cause the sea level to rise if they fall into the ocean.

Cailyn's "rock" experiment, using milk chocolate, white chocolate and peanut butter chips.
Yummiest experiment of the week.

Blue sky rainbow. 

If it's Florida at 6 am, there must be slugs.  Today's critter count while walking the dog?  3 toads, 4 slugs.  

Stuff I do all day at work.  I know, exciting, right?

Venus, Mars and Jupiter

Any sky-watchers out there?

If anyone is interested, Venus, Mars and Jupiter are REALLY easy to see in the morning sky right now.  Takes almost no effort at all and I can almost guarantee ANYONE (even non-space types) will be able to identify them.  Interested?

1.  Go outside when it’s still dark.  I’ve been seeing my planet pals around 6 am, whilst walking the dog.

2.  Look east .  See the super bright “star”?  That’s Venus.  It’s the brightest object in the night sky other than the moon, and for the last couple of days, the moon hasn’t been out there in this area.

3.  Now look a couple inches (in your mental view frame) below and to the left of Venus.  See that other fairly bright “star”?  That’s Jupiter.  It’s really bright right now. 

4.  And now look slightly above Jupiter and you’ll see a dim red dot.  That would be Mars.


Three planets in one shot!!  Now get out there and look!

How the planets will be arranged on October 17, 2015.
This morning Mars was a little more above Jupiter than shown in this image.
Image credit: Skymania, using Stellarium, a free software planetariuim.

And just think. We could be ON that little red speck in just 15 to 20 years!!! AWESOME!!